Taking things for granted...

So, the past few days I have been sick.  It's just a cold, nothing too crazy - but it's made me realize a lot actually.

Normally I don't feel this fatigued - but for some reason I do not have that much energy at all. Sleeping sounds like the best thing to do all the time. I have the normal congestion and cough that you get.  I've noticed some smells really bother me more so than normal.  On top of that I have asthma which this cold has made worse - causing me to have moments where I can't breathe very well, which is fun. I also think because of the fatigue factor I'm getting hungry quite frequently and feel as though eating doesn't give me as much strength as it should.

And I've been working this week because I didn't feel like it was bad enough to call out.  I nanny a set of two year old twins.  And I've been grateful this week because they've been pretty well behaved and easy for the most part - with me being sick that's been a huge blessing.  They also nap for a few hours which I knew I'd be able to get my own nap in therefore helping me gain more energy - well hopefully.

But something that I've realized just these past few days is that I'm really blessed that these things are not a daily thing I deal with.  And because of that I’m thanking the Lord that I don’t have too many physical issues in my life. It is actually making me realize the things I take for granted that other people may not have the luxury of having in their life. Like I don’t deal with any daily pain, I don’t have any chronic pain. All of my five senses are in tact and work properly. I may not be able to breathe sometimes due to my asthma but it’s not so bad that I have to go to the hospital frequently. I usually have energy each day… I usually don’t feel like I will fall asleep all the time. I usually am not coughing a lot or congested or have a sore throat. Smells usually don’t bother me. I usually don’t feel nauseous daily. There are so many more things but these are the ones that came to my mind from being sick.

There are people who do deal with chronic physical (and mental) things each day.  I personally do deal with mental stuff - but I guess I've learned how to work through those things (on most days) - so the physical ones really hit me. But as I was saying, I know there's people who have daily constant physical pain or difficulties that they deal each day.  And to them it's just a part of life, it's just normal. Just like to me my anxiety is daily and normal - it's not easy, but it's always there so you get used to it.

It is interesting how a difficult situation can make you realize the blessings you have and the things that may be there for you on most days… Are things some people pray and wished they had just for one day to make things a bit easier for themselves.

Let's try to take some time more often to look at the things that are in our life every day, that we don't have to pray for because it's already there. It's hard to notice it sometimes until that thing is gone, but we all truly can find blessings that we are given each day. The small and simple things we have, we all take them for granted sometimes.  But when we do take that time to think and notice the small blessings that are in our life each day, it can help us to see the beauty in the world, it can help us to realize that the trials we go through will pass eventually and we can get through them, and it helps us realize how much we truly are loves by our Father in Heaven.  It also can make us realize that there are people who don't have the same things we do in life, and maybe it will help us to try and become more compassionate and try to understand situations from different points of view.  Noticing the small daily blessings we are given can always help us to change our perspective on life, whether it's with our trials or with being able to understand others.

So, I have anxiety...

It was only a few years ago that I actually realized that anxiety is a thing, and it is a thing that is a part of my life.  Having this information and knowledge that I have anxiety has actually helped me a lot in understanding myself, my choices and my reactions to things. Technically we all do experience anxiety to an extent and some anxiety is apparently healthy, at least I've been told or heard that. But the anxiety I have is intensified, and honestly pretty constant. The levels of it change depending on situations I am in or experiences that I have.

So, why am I even talking about this?  Because to me it's important. I don't know the statistics of it, but I'm pretty sure there's a good portion of people that have anxiety.  And I realized something about my own anxiety, and if sharing this can help just one person who has anxiety then writing this is worth it. 

There's different kinds of anxiety, and I could explain them if people want to know because I am pretty familiar with most of them - or at least have a pretty good understanding of them.  But, the anxiety that I am talking about is General Anxiety Disorder.  Sometimes there can be a literal reason for the anxiety we experience, sometimes there's no reason but the anxiety is still there and still effects our lives. And it effects each person differently. And the levels of it are also different for each person. I can function with my anxiety - well usually I can - but some people cannot. It can effect people physically, emotionally, mentally, socially even spiritually, so basically on all levels.

I've learned something about my anxiety though and for some reason I feel the need to share it.  I think it's important for everyone - regardless if you have anxiety or not - to understand the why's of the choices and decisions we make in life, and why we may react to things. 

In school I was never one to raise my hand to answer a question. A teacher usually had to call on me and ask me for me to say something.  Now I know - this was due to my anxiety or fear. There were times that I did have the correct answer, but if I had this .1% of doubt over it I'd fear that it'd be wrong so I never said anything. I don't want to do something the wrong way, especially if someone asks me to do something for them.  So, a lot of them time I wait until given specific directions in certain situations, or I ask questions about something I already know the answer to just to double check because I don't want to do something the wrong way.

A lot of people tell others with anxiety to "calm down, chill out, take a chill pill" or other comments that may have a good intention about them but usually do more harm than good.  And actually do the opposite of what the person is saying.

People with anxiety know it doesn't make sense. We know it's irrational. But, it's also extremely difficult to control or to make go away. The other day I was talking to a friend and was having some anxiety over something and I remember saying to her that I didn't understand why I was having so much anxiety at the moment and she said to me "Anxiety pops up whenever it wants. It's definitely not on our schedules" and that is so true.

There are cases where a specific thing triggers anxiety. Driving for example has always been one of those for me - to the point I literally used to not drive places.  With the help of a friend I was able to push myself through that anxiety. And that was no fun. But, 90% of the time now I can drive with barely any anxiety. It's still there but it's not intense and doesn't stop me from driving. Although, certain circumstances with driving do definitely cause anxiety.

I could probably go on for days talking about this subject.

But, I guess if you struggle with anxiety. Find something to calm you down, get your mind off of the fact that you have anxiety, or if there was a trigger. Listen to calming music, go color, go run, write, draw, paint, read, pray, call a friend, write a letter, message or text to someone and tell them something you find wonderful about them... whatever it is that won't be harmful to you, but will help at least a little bit. Find at least one thing and do that when the anxiety arises (if possible given the circumstances). If you're in public, take a bathroom break and just try and breathe. Meditation is apparently really good for anxiety, but it's never been something I've actually gotten into, and personally I think it might be difficult to actually do during anxiety - at least when it's intense.

For those who don't experience anxiety but know someone who does (I bet you know do - actually if you know me you do lol). I know it can be frustrating and confusing and make no sense. Try and be patient and loving. Use kind words with someone going through an anxiety attack. Let them know their feelings are valid. Please don't try and tell them you understand if you don't. Don't try and tell them to stop it or calm down. Ask them if they need a hug - some want one, some will freak out even more, so just ask. Talk with them, talk them through their feelings - although this is another thing some people don't want to do that. I know frustrating. You don't always know what to expect, we all react differently under anxiety. Some people want to be left alone, actually some people might go mute during an anxiety attack. Don't freak out if that happens. Research anxiety further and when your friend or loved one is not experiencing an anxiety attack talk to them about it, ask them what they would like for you to do if you're with them and they experience it.

As you can see my thoughts go all over the place. I hope this makes sense? I hope this can help someone out. These are my thoughts. And my experiences. Feel free to ask me further questions related to this topic if you want or if my words confused you.

But anxiety is real. It's not fun for anyone. It's hard to control and get through. But, with work it is possible. We just have to figure out the tools that work best for us.